Hi there,
Since I was ten years old and first stepped foot on the University of Georgia campus, I knew that was the school I wanted to attend. The excitement and passion of attending UGA did not come from my mom, a UGA alum, or even my other UGA alum family members. It came from the pure fact of how UGA made me feel: right at home. Through the ups and downs of middle school and high school I have studied diligently in order to attend UGA.
Along the way there have been many encouragers, to whom I am very thankful, as well as many naysayers; especially since I am homeschooled. Some times, I let their negative comments effect me; other times I use those negative comments as fuel to push myself. However, every time I have a negative comment about my future (or lack there of) at UGA, it pushes me into the comfort of Jesus' presence.
Our lives are but a mist vanishing by the blowing of the wind in God's time. Really, for me to be worrying about which college I will attend is quite micro compared to spending eternal life with Him. But fortunately, He cares about the "little" life decisions that keep me up at night. When I submitted my application to UGA, I was fretful. Constantly worrying about if they would accept me; even crying about if they did not. Where would I go? My degree is only at one other college in Georgia.Yikes! But alas, my mom told me I had to give it up. I had to give up my future to God; I had to give Him control and trust Him. Through a night of tears, and prayer I gave up the fear of: being rejected, my life not going any where, not being successful, and being looked down upon for not being accepted, to Him. I realized after giving it up that He accepts and loves me just the way I am, warts and all; my family and friends accept and love me the way I am. Even if they did not, like Dr. Suess says, "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"; they love me because I am me, not because of what I do or where I go to school.
God gives us desires in our hearts for His own reasons. Some of our own desires (obviously do not stem from Him) are never fulfilled. But He says in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" — does this mean do a Bible study every night for us to get what we want? No. It means, spend time with Him, learn what He desires and His desires will become our desires. Because when we dream with God, nothing is impossible. I say all this to say: if I'm not accepted to the University of Georgia, I know that I am not a failure, He still has a plan to "prosper" me (Jer. 29:11). Just because God has placed a desire in my heart, does not mean He is going to fulfill it in my timing. If He does think now is the time, I will be ecstatic. If He decides that is not where He wants me right now, I will be joyful for the opportunity to have tried. I would rather have the rejection of trying with the talents God has given me than the regret of not trying at all.
Thanks for stopping by,
Mal
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