Hi friends!
Unfortunately, I was not accepted to the University of Georgia. While I was disappointed, I have realized, through some tears, that God has other plans. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope’” (Jeremiah 29:11). I am not sure what these other plans entail, but I am excited for the future. Even though, I was denied, I am glad that stepped my foot out and tried. Better to have tried and failed than to have not tried and have regrets. It’s been a rocky 24 hours but Jesus has shown me sooo much in those short hours.
Friday afternoon, traveling back from classes, I began to ponder what the decision would be. I knew that UGA had picked March 18th, to be the final wave of decisions. Most of the time, I plan how I think everything is going to happen. For example, I tried to plan how I would act if I got denied, and I tried to plan how I would act when I got accepted…however, something just kept feeling wrong about both actions. After thinking about it, it became clear that I had put God in a box. I felt like I had said, “well here are the two possible outcomes, which one do you want to pick, God?” Later, though I kept asking Him, when I would put Him in a box, to make the desires of His heart be the desires of my heart. I didn’t and don’t ever want attending UGA to be a selfish desire; it needs to be where He truly wants me.
Fast forward to late afternoon. Decisions are out; heart rates accelerated. It’s time. I knew whatever the outcome, I would be okay. For some reason I could not stop crying, in my heart I was disappointed but not to the point of sobbing. And then I knew the sobbing was coming from what I thought others would think of me. Also, the tears came because of what I was thinking of myself. “Failure, stupid, lazy” the adjectives that popped in my head. Later on, these lies were attributed to the enemy not to God saying “wait”.
He hasn’t said “no”, because my passion has stayed the same and with much prayer I believe I am following His path. Though His path will not be easy, it will be the best path to take. So these trials the Lord has sent in the past 24 hours, has shown me a lot. Too much to write about and be able to contribute Him justice. However, I want to leave you with this: I was afraid of what people would think of me, but God has shown me specifically that there is not an action we can partake in, or a word we can mutter for the love of God to stop extending to us. “For I am convinced, that neither death, nor life, nor principalities nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth nor any other thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). I knew this in my head for a long time, but have finally believed it in my heart. Finding the bright sides to “waters [we] wish [we] could walk through” ( ) can be oh-so hard, in this instance though, I have found more pros of staying home and continuing school than going off.
Know in your heart, not just your head (really difficult!!) how precious you are to Him and how proud He would be of you even if you couldn’t do anything for yourself. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). This has become one of my favorite verses, but more on that later.
Congratulations to UGA’s Class of 2020! I hope Athens makes you feel right at home. The Classic City is one of the best in the world :-)
Thanks for reading and go Dawgs!
Mal
No comments:
Post a Comment