decision day 2016: part two

Hi friends!

Unfortunately, I was not accepted to the University of Georgia. While I was disappointed, I have realized, through some tears, that God has other plans. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope’” (Jeremiah 29:11). I am not sure what these other plans entail, but I am excited for the future. Even though, I was denied, I am glad that stepped my foot out and tried. Better to have tried and failed than to have not tried and have regrets. It’s been a rocky 24 hours but Jesus has shown me sooo much in those short hours. 

Friday afternoon, traveling back from classes, I began to ponder what the decision would be. I knew that UGA had picked March 18th, to be the final wave of decisions. Most of the time, I plan how I think everything is going to happen. For example, I tried to plan how I would act if I got denied, and I tried to plan how I would act when I got accepted…however, something just kept feeling wrong about both actions. After thinking about it, it became clear that I had put God in a box. I felt like I had said, “well here are the two possible outcomes, which one do you want to pick, God?” Later, though I kept asking Him, when I would put Him in a box, to make the desires of His heart be the desires of my heart. I didn’t and don’t ever want attending UGA to be a selfish desire; it needs to be where He truly wants me. 

Fast forward to late afternoon. Decisions are out; heart rates accelerated. It’s time. I knew whatever the outcome, I would be okay. For some reason I could not stop crying, in my heart I was disappointed but not to the point of sobbing. And then I knew the sobbing was coming from what I thought others would think of me. Also, the tears came because of what I was thinking of myself. “Failure, stupid, lazy” the adjectives that popped in my head. Later on, these lies were attributed to the enemy not to God saying “wait”. 

He hasn’t said “no”, because my passion has stayed the same and with much prayer I believe I am following His path. Though His path will not be easy, it will be the best path to take. So these trials the Lord has sent in the past 24 hours, has shown me a lot. Too much to write about and be able to contribute Him justice. However, I want to leave you with this: I was afraid of what people would think of me, but God has shown me specifically that there is not an action we can partake in, or a word we can mutter for the love of God to stop extending to us. “For I am convinced, that neither death, nor life, nor principalities nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth nor any other thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). I knew this in my head for a long time, but have finally believed it in my heart. Finding the bright sides to “waters [we] wish [we] could walk through” ( ) can be oh-so hard, in this instance though, I have found more pros of staying home and continuing school than going off. 

Know in your heart, not just your head (really difficult!!) how precious you are to Him and how proud He would be of you even if you couldn’t do anything for yourself. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). This has become one of my favorite verses, but more on that later. 

Congratulations to UGA’s Class of 2020! I hope Athens makes you feel right at home. The Classic City is one of the best in the world :-)

Thanks for reading and go Dawgs! 

Mal

Decision Day 2016: part one

Hi there, 

Since I was ten years old and first stepped foot on the University of Georgia campus, I knew that was the school I wanted to attend. The excitement and passion of attending UGA did not come from my mom, a UGA alum, or even my other UGA alum family members. It came from the pure fact of how UGA made me feel: right at home. Through the ups and downs of middle school and high school I have studied diligently in order to attend UGA. 

Along the way there have been many encouragers, to whom I am very thankful, as well as many naysayers; especially since I am homeschooled. Some times, I let their negative comments effect me; other times I use those negative comments as fuel to push myself. However, every time I have a negative comment about my future (or lack there of) at UGA, it pushes me into the comfort of Jesus' presence. 

Our lives are but a mist vanishing by the blowing of the wind in God's time. Really, for me to be worrying about which college I will attend is quite micro compared to spending eternal life with Him. But fortunately, He cares about the "little" life decisions that keep me up at night. When I submitted my application to UGA, I was fretful. Constantly worrying about if they would accept me; even crying about if they did not. Where would I go? My degree is only at one other college in Georgia.Yikes! But alas, my mom told me I had to give it up. I had to give up my future to God; I had to give Him control and trust Him. Through a night of tears, and prayer I gave up the fear of: being rejected, my life not going any where, not being successful, and being looked down upon for not being accepted, to Him. I realized after giving it up that He accepts and loves me just the way I am, warts and all; my family and friends accept and love me the way I am. Even if they did not, like Dr. Suess says, "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"; they love me because I am me, not because of what I do or where I go to school.

God gives us desires in our hearts for His own reasons. Some of our own desires (obviously do not stem from Him) are never fulfilled. But He says in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" — does this mean do a Bible study every night for us to get what we want? No. It means, spend time with Him, learn what He desires and His desires will become our desires. Because when we dream with God, nothing is impossible. I say all this to say: if I'm not accepted to the University of Georgia, I know that I am not a failure, He still has a plan to "prosper" me (Jer. 29:11). Just because God has placed a desire in my heart, does not mean He is going to fulfill it in my timing. If He does think now is the time, I will be ecstatic. If He decides that is not where He wants me right now, I will be joyful for the opportunity to have tried. I would rather have the rejection of trying with the talents God has given me than the regret of not trying at all. 

Thanks for stopping by,

Mal

class of 2015

These are the four seniors that trusted me in taking their pictures! You'll get to meet each one and see what they are currently doing. I hope you enjoy looking as much as I did shooting. Thanks guys for letting me take your pictures; it was a privilege. :-)

James Worthy // April 2nd, 2015

Meet James, he graduated Albany State University in May with a Bachelor's degree in Music Education. I took his girlfriend's, Omolara, senior pictures back in December (which I have yet to put them up...oops).  Anyway, we went all over the place, including downtown! He is currently the band director at a local school while he attends Valdosta State University to get his Master's in music education. One of the sweetest, most fun guys you will meet!

Noah Phillips // April 11th, 2015

Say hello to Noah! He was homeschooled, and graduated in May. Currently he's enrolled in Albany Technical College working towards a Diesel Mechanics degree. He received his Eagle Scout award in April of 2014. He too, is one of the nicest guys you'll meet. Oh and I unknowingly broke my foot the week before we took his pictures, thankfully it didn't effect the pictures or the fun we had!  

Evelyn Faith White // May 25th, 2015

This is my older cousin, Faith. We actually went on her fun photoshoot on my mom's birthday. Faith loves pink, dancing (obviously) and traveling. One of her favorite places is a local coffee shop, Elements, so we took a few of her with a cup of her favorite coffee. She is super photogenic and I honestly didn't have to edit these very much. She is currently enrolled at ABAC, has joined a sorority and is loving it. 

Tyler Joiner // August 13th, 2015

Meet Tyler! He is currently enrolled a Georgia Tech working on his Environmentalist Engineering degree and playing on the GA Tech golf team. He graduated in May, but went to GA Tech during the summer, so for the couple of weeks he was home we squeezed in taking pics. And just for fun he went and stood in the fountain...it was a hot summer day, who can blame him?

Thanks for stopping by!
Mally J.

speaking out: a testimony & the ultimate love letter

The Bible: a love letter. 

66 books, 1,189 chapters, 31,102 verses.

Addressed to you & me. 

We all want one thing, love. Unconditional love to be exact. It's a beautiful sacrifice, rarely given to those who need it the most. We live in a world where the meaning of love has lost it’s value. So let’s reexamine the definition. "Love - unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another.” There is not much of this love going around in the world today. Not even between brothers and sister in Christ. God has placed it on my heart to share what He has opened my eyes to this summer. 

In late May, early June, I was able to go on a choir tour with my friend's church. We went to some of the most destitute places. It was heartbreaking. However, I saw the most genuine worship I’d ever seen. To see people who literally have nothing be vulnerable and give their everything to Jesus was eye opening. Throughout the whole trip, I got mad that we were separating ourselves from them by just singing to them. I thought we should be out and amongst them, praying, and speaking truth over their lives. Little did I know how much truth and prayer we actually did by ‘just singing.’ I started to see everywhere we went that God was breaking down walls and blessing those who came to our concerts. I see now that sometimes all we have to do is lend an ear, time, a voice, or a hand for people to experience God. 

Once home from choir tour, I went into a downward spiral. I was in a pit. A selfish pit. I didn’t go to church for months and didn't even bother touching my Bible study. I was mean, depressed, and bitter. Then one Wednesday night, a week before our church’s summer camp, I went back to church. After the worship set, I felt God move my heart back towards Him. I knew He wanted me to go to camp. I was brought to tear’s from the love and grace I had experienced. He was rescuing me from the pit I had dug for myself.

Flash forward to camp:

The first night was energized. Worship was powerful & the anticipation of God moving in our city and our lives was indescribable. After worship, we wrote down something we wanted to see God do at camp. I wrote, 'to become bold in His love.’ What I meant was to be able to pray without worrying about saying something wrong, go to school without worrying about grades and to stop fearing the future completely.

The second night during worship I didn't feel like I was encountering God. I know a relationship with Him isn't a feeling, however, when I looked around the room to see people falling down because of His presence I was discouraged as to why He wasn't letting me experience that. Crossing my arms and giving up on worship completely, someone tapped my shoulder. It was one of the leaders that I had talked to about my fear of praying out loud. She said she wanted to pray with me. After her prayer, I felt as though a lock had been cut off my tongue. I knew that if I wanted to pray out loud, I could. My chains were set free. I also experienced some peace about the future, and was told I needed to enjoy the present.

On the third night, I felt God tell me to pray for a friend. At first I was a little nervous. But then I made myself walk over to her and pray for her. It the most awkward prayer, (maybe not, but it sure felt like it.) I felt like apologizing to her but I knew God had released me from those chains and I needed to leave them where they lie. Later that night, I asked another leader to pray for me. I told her I wanted to love boldly. She prayed for peace. At first, I didn't know why she would pray for peace when I asked to love boldly. Then she said I was holding back from Him (which I knew but was having a hard time being vulnerable) and needed to completely relax in His presence. She asked God to completely fill me with His presence.

Eventually, I did relax. When I did, He filled me with His presence. So much so that when the leader left me, I didn't notice. It was the best night of my life. I haven't had anxieties about situations that used to worry me, since. I even tried to get anxious about something that would've bothered me a month ago, but He has given me peace that surpasses all understanding. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 NIV

When I feel myself start to get anxious, I pray for His peace and listen to worship music. By receiving His peace, I have an overwhelming desire to love people. I'm vulnerable in Him, but also bold. He answered my prayers. He filled my void. I have joy now because I know He's in control. 

Continuing my walk after camp, I've been praying for our city to find Jesus. That we would love each other so much it overwhelmed us. I'm praying that our nation finds Jesus too. We need Him. We need to speak out about our experiences even if we're scared. Paul was scared too and look what Jesus told him, "One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city." Acts 18:9-10 NIV. We need to fight for those who can't yet fight for themselves. We need to show love to the ones who deserve it least. 

I'm speaking out about my experience with God because He has written us a love letter. He doesn't just want to touch my life, He wants to touch yours too and anyone else who is willing to let Him touch their lives. It's not acceptable as a child of God to keep this love letter to ourselves. There are so many people who need to hear truth. The enemy has taken too many already. 

As believers, we are not going to get treated nicely all the time. That's okay. When people are being rude and not taking time to love or care about us, remember, it's okay. It's what we're trained for, to love unconditionally because that's the way Jesus loves us. If your friend has told a story 20 times, and they want to tell it again, listen. Love isn't just a feeling, it's a sacrifice. Think of all the sacrifices Jesus made for us. My granddad used to say, "you kill more flies with honey than you do vinegar."

Today, I began to pray for husbands of the world to love their brides like Jesus loves the church, His bride. I prayed that my generation would begin to write songs, and poems to God instead of the person they like. He will be around far longer than the people we like in high school. Also, He will bring our spouse when it's time. I'm also praying that His desires become my desires, and His dreams become my dreams. "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desired of your heart." Psalm 37:4 is one of my favorite verses because when we study His word and find what He loves, it becomes what we love.  We become imitators of Christ when we love like He does, and that is one of my grandest dreams. “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” Ephesians 5:1-2 NASB

Love God. Love people.

In His love, 

Mally J. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWi4ahGSI34 - a worship song that sounds like a love song to me.. from Hillsong United's new album Empires.

a jungle in Paris

 I've always loved the idea of taking something ordinary and making it extraordinary. Though, taking pictures of a ballerina in the woods is "nothing new under the sun," it was for me. While taking these photos I definitely did not have a title in mind. I knew I wanted to mention Paris and ballerinas but I didn't know how to articulate it properly. One night, as I was watching the end credits of a documentary, the creator's name appeared: Jungles in Paris. (check them out, they have some neat informational videos & photography: https://www.junglesinparis.com) I thought, huh, what a different twist to capturing an audience. I imaged what an actual jungle would look like in Paris. Extraordinary. Instantly, the way I saw Paris changed. Because if it could have a jungle amongst it; it could have a desert, mountains, &tc. "A Jungle in Paris," in my eyes, are two ordinaries that make an extraordinary.  Enjoy!

"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

As always, thanks for taking a peek :-) 

Mally J. 

p e a c e f u l :: quiet & calm

One of my absolute favorite past times is adventuring. Wether it's a new town, or my hometown, there is always something new to see. Or even something to be seen in a different light.

As we all know, Christmas can be a very hectic time of year. It's hard to carve out time to just relax when there is SO much to do. When life gets hectic, I have a really hard time just letting the Lord handle it & trust that He will help me get everything that needs to get done completed. This past Christmas (yes, I know it's April. If you haven't noticed I'm late on most things. Oops lol), I was blessed to go on an adventure with my brother. After we spent Christmas morning with the family, celebrating Jesus' birth, opening presents and eating lunch, we decided to go out for a walk.

We went to Lake Loretta, somewhere we've been a million times. Except this time it was different. It was extremely peaceful. I have an anxious heart, I worry about everything. Even though I know in my heart I shouldn't, my mind takes off before I can stop it. A verse that is really helping is Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything. Instead in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I felt this come true for me Christmas day. Even the geese, ducks & birds were calm and quiet. This picture of a duck really shows what the day felt like, and every time I start to feel myself get anxious I look at this picture and pray for peace.

 Here are some more pics of our little adventure :)

Happy Thursday! Have a lovely weekend :-)

Thanks for reading. 

xoxo, 

Mally J.

life in color

During the harsh winter months, it can be quite hard to stay positive. I always get the winter blues...they're so uncalled for, I have so many reasons to be joyful. One perk, however, is that my creative juices start to work in overdrive to compensate for the blues. Thankfully, once those juices start to flow there is no stopping them.

So far I've only taken two photoshoots with paint/chalk. The first, is of my very best friend. I was inspired by a quote that read, "If the words you spoke appeared on your skin, would you still be beautiful?".  I wanted to express that quote in my own words (which ended up being French words...lol), and this was the result. 

While thinking on that quote I started to wonder what God's definition of true beauty was & if the quote was anything close to what He said about beauty. I found that God's definition of true beauty is, "Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle & quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:4) He looks at our hearts & the reasoning behind our actions. "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man look at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'"

The second photoshoot was quite impromptu but inspired by the first photoshoot. My friends wanted a picture like the above. I was a bit nervous in trying to recreate it, scared she wouldn't like it or worse, it not turn out at all. It ended up coming out very nicely, I was pleasantly surprised & she loved it (worrying is a waste of time). 

{played with the hue on this one:)}

Life is hard, but so very beautiful.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." Psalm 63:3.

Thanks for reading. 

peace & love,

Mally J.